IN THIS ECONOMY, some hos can't even get a regular ATM machine to wake up when they come knocking, but in Abu Dhabi they launched a machine last week that spits out gold. Now tourists and locals can witness what one of Oprah's bowel movements looks like.
The Gold To Go machine sells 24-carat bars that weigh 1, 5, and 10 grams. You can also get coins from other countries. Each bar comes in a fancy little box.
I say we all get blasted on Natty Ice, take pappy's Chevy, drive on over to Abu Dhabi, hook the Gold To Go Machine up to back of the pick-up using chains and drive that bitch home while fist pumping to Lynyrd Skynyrd. When we get home, we'll crack that shit open with hammers and then use that gold to buy the good stuff: BOONE'S FARM! This is a plan. Watch the video below to gather research for our mission.
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